A Different Kind of Coronation
by PsychicDreams
Summary: [Thorki] Thor asks Loki for a present for his coronation, but is Loki prepared to give it to him?
1. Chapter 1

(Based on the idea that Thor was winking at Loki in the Thor movie, something that caught my attention and my imagination went at it again. Much like Lost In You, this diverges very early from the Thor movie, kind of like a 'What if this had happened instead' AU.)

Loki looked one last time at himself in the mirror, making sure every strap and part of his clothing was right. Finally the day that Thor had been waiting for and he'd partially been dreading: coronation day. He loved his brother, but he knew that he wasn't ready to rule. He was still too hardheaded, too arrogant, and no one in their right mind would give power to someone like that…except Odin was. That left it up to him, once again, to save Asgard and his brother from a massive mistake.

He lifted his helmet and put it on as the final touch before sweeping out of the room. His footsteps followed the well-rehearsed path, pausing only briefly when he saw his brother alone. There was a tenseness to his shoulders that was rarely there and maybe even Thor was having second thoughts. It made him hopeful that there was something beneath the arrogance worth _saving_, worth making him a ruler for. The glimpses of it were rare, but he saw it. He knew Thor would be a good king, if he had a bit of humility thrown in.

He didn't bother to hide his footsteps as he approached and Thor turned to look at him. "Are you nervous, brother?" he asked curiously.

"When have you ever known me to be nervous?"

Loki lifted an eyebrow. "You had best try that line on one of your many admirers. I have been with you through childhood and have seen everything there is to know about you."

"…Not everything."

Curious now, he asked, "Oh? Then what haven't I seen?"

Thor's blue eyes looked at him, for a moment seeming deep and fathomless. "You wish to know?"

"Well…yes."

Finally Thor shifted to look directly at him. "Loki, it is a very big day for me." The change in subject confused him and he tilted his head. Thor's hand came up to hold the back of Loki's neck as he was wont to do. "Will you give me a present for my celebration?"

"I would give you anything you ask for," he answered smoothly, hoping that if he could agree with Thor they could get back to the original topic and sate his ever-growing curiosity.

"You will give me your honor, your word, you will follow through?"

"Of course. When have I ever not honored a promise with you, Thor?"

He blinked as Thor drew him closer, enough they were almost breathing the same air. "Then after the coronation, tonight, I would have you in my bed."

Something in his mind froze and it was as if all thoughts came to a screeching halt. Thor couldn't have meant what he thought he'd meant. "…What?"

"You know what it is I mean, brother. You promised me a present; that is what I want."

He felt something shiver through him, a bundle of unnamed emotions that included both excitement and dread. Despite the rumors and gossip, Loki had never lain with any man, or had had any desire to do so before. "Thor…we are brothers," he tried to reason.

"Will you not honor your promise then?"

Thor's face was deadly serious; this was not a game to him, not a way to tease Loki. He had promised before he'd known what Thor was going to ask, but why shouldn't he? His brother was the only one that he had ever never needed to ask. They were too close for that, of course he would do anything, but this was something wholly different. Why would Thor ever want that? Maybe, just maybe, he was misreading and this truly was a great joke. He couldn't lie in Thor's bed, in his arms! The very thought was almost terrifying. Their relationship would be _irrevocably_ changed and Loki would have given up something that he wasn't sure Thor even realized he would. For a man to lie underneath another man, since he was sure that was what Thor meant, would mean…

"Loki?"

"…I will honor my promise after the successful ceremony, when father has completed the coronation."

Thor nodded seriously before it slipped away and he let Loki go, smiling again and seeming as feckless as usual. Loki's heart was thudding painfully in his chest, his nerves jangling, but he attempted to soothe himself with the knowledge that he had made it clear that if the ceremony was completed successfully he would…and he had made sure that it _wouldn't_. He was never so glad before as now that he had already planned his disturbance ahead of time.

As Thor nudged him to leave first, Loki felt that touch burn through him even past his armor. Now that the subject had been broached, there was a tension between them that he felt. Had…Thor felt it this whole time? Was he the only one that hadn't? He could see the naked sexual need, the tension, in his brother's eyes and it was flooding Loki's system with adrenaline and an answering tension.

He took a deep breath, striving to keep his face blank so his mother standing next to him didn't notice anything. The hall was crowded, full of people, and Thor walked confidently down the long stretch to the dais. His exuberance didn't reassure Loki that he was ready to be king, and with a quick glance at his father, he could see it didn't reassure Odin either. By the time Thor had reached the steps, he had controlled himself.

There was that happy, confident grin, but there was something _more_ to it than usual. When Thor looked at him and he winked, he couldn't help but look down. No, that grin wasn't just because of the coronation. As Odin stood and began to speak, Loki counted down the seconds. Any moment and it would be interrupted. The Jotun would be in the vault. The ceremony would fail.

A cold slither went down his spine as Odin pronounced Thor his heir officially and the crowd erupted in cheers. There had been no disturbance. What had those Jotun been doing?! Thor's eyes were just a little darker as he looked at Loki, and he had to wonder what his face looked like. Was he pale? Did he look apprehensive? Did he appear nervous?

Even as the celebrations took hold and everyone moved to another room, he tried to think of any way of getting out of it. Despite joining with others, drinking and eating, Loki could always feel Thor's eyes watching him. Only as sunset began to fall did Loki even attempt to slip away. He took a deep breath as he was in the cool hallway, telling his stomach to calm down, but honestly he had failed in the hours they'd been celebrating to come up with anything that would—

Thor's hands grabbed him and he spun instinctively, but unable to escape the arms that surrounded him. He had thought his brother drunk by now, but he was terrifyingly sober. "Tonight, brother, come to my room." A soft, delighted smile was showered on him. "I beg you to come in relaxed clothing." That smile slipped just a little and his hands touched Loki's face and cheeks at whatever he saw in his expression. "You need not _fear_, Loki."

"I'm not afraid," he whispered, a lie if he'd ever heard one.

There was disbelief in the gaze and he knew that he'd failed in convincing Thor. "I will not hurt you, Loki. I would rather die than hurt you, so do not fear tonight." Their foreheads touched briefly and for a moment he saw a look of pure contentment that he had very rarely ever seen on his brother's face. "I must return to the celebrations, but come to my room in an hour."

"…Yes."

Loki felt his heart thudding in his chest again, pounding against his ribs, as Thor walked away and only when he was alone did he gasp heavily. Thor had been right, damn him, he was afraid, but he wasn't sure of _what_. Thor didn't scare him; his brother had been nothing if not _over_protective in his life and would never hurt him. Was he afraid of the changes that would come? No…

As he walked slowly to his own room to dispense with his armor, Loki cursed when he dug the answer deep down. No, he was afraid he might _like it_. He threw his helmet violently against the wall once he was alone, pacing over his rugs. There had to, had to be a way out of this, but whenever he thought of refusing his brother, that contented expression flashed before his eyes and his heart hurt. He'd always wanted to make Thor happy, in his own way, but why did it have to involve being so vulnerable?

Before he realized it an hour had gone by and he hadn't even begun to remove his armor. Cursing, he took his time regardless of the fact that he was late, even going so far as to take a bath, and nervously went to his wardrobe nude. Nerves were coming again and he gritted his teeth as he pulled on a pair of soft pants and robe. He didn't bother with slippers as he cautiously left his room, following the well-worn path to his brother's room.

It was at least an hour and a half late, as he had deliberately dawdled, but he felt a surge of vicious satisfaction in that. Thor didn't even know what he was asking, did he? He'd been handed the world on a platter today, given everything he'd ever wanted, and now he wanted even more. He wanted to possess Loki's body, likely for a fit of passion, just for one night. No, Thor was not cruel; he would not do this merely to humiliate his brother, but that didn't mean that it wasn't a spur of the moment desire.

He knocked lightly after making sure no one was around to see him, and the door was thrown open instantly. Thor had changed out of his armor into something equally loose, but the look in his eyes shamed Loki. He'd clearly thought, after an hour and a half, that he had chosen not to come. Hands grabbed him, and yanked him in, only to shut the door and press Loki against it.

"You're late. You're never late, Loki."

Rather than say he was lost in thought, he skipped that part and instead confessed, "I was bathing." Thor's eyes glanced at the tips of his black hair that were a tad damp. Relief seemed to flood Thor and the tension in his hands eased.

Before he realized it, that fear was flooding back to him as his brother leaned in, pressing their bodies together intimately. "Thank the Norns. I feared you had decided not to come."

Loki couldn't answer because then his brother's lips were on his. They were powerful, commanding, and yet somehow begging. His tongue lapped at Loki's closed lips in desperation and completely beyond his control, his mouth parted. When he felt his brother move in, pressing a knee between his legs and burying his tongue in his mouth, he moaned. It was not something he wanted to admit that he did, but it felt as if Thor thought he was drowning and the only thing that could save him was Loki's taste, his touch.

He found his hands coming up, touching Thor's biceps and it only seemed to encourage the man. When breathing became too great a need to ignore, the kiss ended only for Thor to yank his robe open and he began to leave open mouthed kisses down his neck. Loki's managed to grab his wandering mind just in time to let out a soft shout as Thor nipped at his nipples.

It felt…amazing, sending his nerve endings singing with pleasure, and why did Thor make this feel so good?! Those callused fingers had found the nipple he wasn't currently sucking on and pinched it, and a cry was wrenched out of his throat. Loki's knees went weak and if it hadn't been for his brother, he would have sunk to the floor.

Abruptly Thor pulled away, hands moving to his shoulders. "Shh, I'm sorry, Loki."

"What?" he muttered with a gasp.

"Loki…you're trembling."

He was? He looked at his hands and mentally cursed. They were shaking, his whole body was shaking. Why did Thor's touch make it seem as if he was on fire? He was _burning_ and now that he had a minute, he realized he was hard and pressing into Thor's thigh intimately.

"I'm sorry, Loki. It's all right—"

"I'm not frightened," he spat, because that wasn't why he was shuddering. It wasn't fear, but arousal. His eyes glared at Thor. "This isn't your first time."

To his credit, his brother didn't look away. "No. I have lain with a man once before, in preparation."

"Preparation?"

"I needed to know how to hold you."

How…long had he been planning this? His brother, who could never hide _anything_ from Loki, had somehow managed this? As he stared, stunned, Thor reached out and pushed his robe from his shoulders before looking hungrily at his pants. Fingers that were criminally nimble reached out and tugged at them, the loose material slipping down to his ankles. Color flooded Loki's cheeks as Thor's eyes didn't move from his groin and the erection there.

"By the _Norns,_ Loki, you're beautiful!" was the whispered, awed curse. He tried to shift, now that his knees were working again, but his brother's hand was quicker and wrapped around him.

Loki let out a soft shout. While not exactly celibate, Loki had been very picky about whom he bedded and he hadn't been with someone in awhile. In the past few years, the only hand that had touched him was his own and the rough calluses, far more than his own, were a different sensation. Thor squeezed him just a little and he fisted his hands in arms of Thor's robe to keep himself still. His name was whispered in his ear and when he lifted his head, Thor stole a blistering kiss.

This time Loki found himself kissing back with a fierce, undeniable passion. It had surged in him abruptly, leaving him no time to track down from _where_ it had come from. It only encouraged Thor and before he realized it, that hand had left his arousal to grip his thighs and lift him. He found himself being carried easily to the bed and his nerves came flooding back. He wasn't laid down particularly gently, but nor was he thrown.

Thor knelt on the edge of the bed near his feet, tossing his robe on the floor, but his eyes hadn't left Loki's naked body. Feeling a surge of embarrassment, though he had no idea why, he moved his hand to cover himself only to be stopped by his brother. The hand going for his crotch was yanked up and lips kissed and nudged at his fingertips instead.

His tongue came out, running along the creases of his palm and Loki shivered. Thor was not deterred and the muscle left a wet trail as it traveled down his arm, hand still held in Thor's, to his shoulder. His brother paid attention to a recent wound he'd received on his shoulder, massaging the scar tissue with his lips, but didn't linger too long.

"Thor," he half-moaned, trying to get his brother's attention, to at least let go of his hand, but naturally he was ignored. Instead, those lips had found his nipples again and this time, his nip left just a little bit of pain amid the pleasure. Loki shouted softly, having had no idea that he'd _like_ that until it was done. A little frisson of nerves went up his spine at the realization, but before he could process it in depth, Thor was moving again.

It didn't take him long to realize just where Thor was going. He stiffened. "Wait, Thor—" he tried, but those hands were lightning quick as he pushed Loki's legs wide and licked along his erection. The shout was louder this time and his hips bucked just a little. The thought that a near-future king shouldn't be sucking a man off came to mind as an admonition, before it spun around and turned smug with the thought that _Thor, _the near-future king, was sucking _him_ off.

Thor was lavishing attention on the sensitive flesh and he squirmed. He wasn't sure if he thought to get away or get closer, but those hands were commanding on his hips, telling him to stop. The passion was coming back, the same passion that had had Thor shoving him up against the door, unchecked and uncontrolled. He heard a clap of thunder outside just before he was enveloped in that burning, wet mouth.

His hips jumped, arching his back, with a keening wail that had been wrenched unwillingly from his throat. Loki dug his fingers into the furs. With a fatalist thought in his mind, he knew where that one hand was going, sliding from his hip to his chest. "Please don't," he whimpered just as those fingers had found his nipples again, pinching gently. It was too overwhelming, too good, and he cursed himself that this felt better than with _any_ woman he'd ever been with. Thor's beard was lightly scratching his skin, reminding him with every twitch, with every passionate suck, just who it was holding him. What kind of man was he, to enjoy the sexual attentions of his own brother? He felt more arousal, more passion, right then than he had his entire life and it _was with Thor_.

One hand, quite out of his control, gripped tightly into that blond hair. If he tugged and hurt Thor, his brother didn't acknowledge it. Loki gritted his teeth, one leg accidentally kicking the bedpost as he tried to calm himself. He was getting closer and part of him didn't want to. He wanted to hold it off, keep going, because he had never felt such pleasure; pleasure that was threatening to addict him.

"Thor…!" he gasped, trying to warn his brother, because he was losing his teeth-and-clawed fight to hold off his orgasm. Loki tried to move his hips away, but there was a vice-like grip on his leg with Thor's other hand. "Thor…move…back!"

Thor didn't and he had no mental ability to plead anymore. Instead, his mind became a slave to his body, doing what it wanted, and it surged his hips up into that mouth and he let out a shout as he orgasmed. Thor swallowed all of it, the contractions of his throat and mouth only milking him further until he collapsed bonelessly back onto the bed.

Thor eased up, covering his body with his partially clothed one, and nuzzling his lips against Loki's neck. "Loki?"

Through his haze, he could feel Thor's throbbing arousal against his hip, but paid it little attention. In fact, he was so lost in his pleasant haze, he didn't even notice what Thor was doing. His legs still idly spread, his brother took advantage of it. Loki shouted when something wet slid between his legs and he jerked, looking down. Thor teased that ring of muscles before gently nudging a finger inside. Before he could help it, he clamped down around the invasion, his whole body tightening.

"Shh, Loki," Thor whispered as the rain began to fall. A breeze wafted, bringing the wet air into a room that seemed stifled with heat. Loki felt as if he was burning up and he welcomed the wind. Even the rain and thunder was good.

"Thor—"

A second finger pushed inside and he thrashed a little, but Thor leaned his body down to still him. "Don't fear this, brother. I know what to do and I swear, I _swear_ on my life, on Mjolnir, that I will make you feel as if you've entered Valhalla. Please, I beg you, continue to trust me as you have before in our lives. I know this the most I have asked of you, that it would be easier to you to trust me if I asked you to do anything else, even leap from a cliff to the unknown, but I have never betrayed that trust, have I?"

So at least Thor _knew_ that this was different. At least he knew that this was something momentous and what it meant for someone in Loki's position. A third finger slipped inside and then Thor did something, touched _something_, and whatever he had been about to say fled. "_Thor_!" he cursed, hips unconsciously jerking toward the fingers impaling him.

There was that soft smile again, Thor doing nothing other than watching as his writhed because of his ministrations, gently pressing and massaging that spot until he grew hard and wanton again. If it hadn't been Thor, if it hadn't been so soft and indulgent, so _happy_, Loki would have felt humiliated. He was a prince of Asgard. To be on his back beneath another man would be considered—

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt those fingers leave and he panted heavily. Loki blinked his eyes to get them in focus, watching as Thor's weight disappeared. His brother eased himself to his knees on the bed and untied the loose string on his pants before they dropped. He felt his heart sink a little, his nerves flooding back, as he couldn't help but _look_. Thor was thick and hung well and he was clearly throbbing in need…yet he had ignored himself the entire time. Where did the self-sacrificing foolishness come from? Why hadn't he asked Loki to—

Thor's hands gripped his thighs, moving his legs until they were spread and bent at the knees. Slowly they traveled down to his hips, lifting them a little as he settled in place, kicking his pants off the rest of the way in an absentminded fashion. Loki felt his apprehension grow. There was no way that was going to fit at all, and really, now that it had come down to it, he didn't think this was a good idea _at all_…

"Relax, brother," Thor whispered just before he pushed the tip of his erection inside. Loki let out a soft howl and he would have jerked away if it hadn't been Thor's hands on him. Thor took his time, moving slowly, despite the look of passion in his eyes that said he just wanted to rut so badly into his body. Loki would _rather_ he just thrust once and bury himself inside because this slow entrance was only making things clearer to him that he didn't want to see.

As Thor reached the end, remaining motionless to let him deal with the pain, Loki knew that his apprehension had been right: he _liked this_. It was not befitting a prince of Asgard to like being held by another man, yet the experience completely overshadowed any time he'd ever had with any woman, no matter how good he'd thought it was at the time.

Thor's hands were on his face and taut neck. "Loki… Loki, you must relax." He felt Thor's forehead pressing against his chest as he dropped forward. "I didn't think… You're _so tight_, Loki. You're squeezing the life out of me…and it's so wonderful, I could be a beggar and not care."

"How…can I…relax?!" he demanded only to shout as Thor moved, pulling out…and pushing back in again. Thor seemed intently focused on his face and as he did it again, he shifted the angle and hit that something from before. The ache disappeared in a flood of pleasure and he bit his lip so hard it almost broke the skin to keep in his scream.

"Loki…my beautiful, beautiful Loki…" The pace was moving a little faster now and Loki let out a whimpering cry. Thor only compounded it when his lips attacked his chest again and he could feel his arousal rubbing along that muscled stomach occasionally in a tormenting teasing.

As the rutting truly began, when Thor's panting became heavy and ragged as he took his pleasure in a desperate manner, Loki despaired. This was what he was afraid of: that he'd love this, need this, too much. Not just because of the amazing sensations, but because it was _Thor_ doing it to him. It was Thor that was trying so hard to make it equal, to not make Loki feel as if his stature was lowered; that was showering him with affection, putting his pleasure first before anything else. There was no way he could live without this anymore and damn his brother for doing this to him!

"Why, Thor?!" he spat, demanded, angered and betrayed that Thor had shown Loki things he wasn't ready, wasn't willing, to know and now it was too late. This couldn't happen again, it wouldn't; Thor would be required to marry to produce an heir, likely to Sif regardless of what he wanted, so how could he be _so, so_ cruel as to make him realize just how much he loved his brother?!

Thor's movements slowed and stopped. Their eyes met and Loki didn't know what his were displaying. The sweat beading on that golden skin only seemed to enhance it and he looked every bit the god that Midgardians said they were. He was panting heavily, bracing his hands on the bed on either side of his chest.

"…Don't you know?" he asked, as if stunned that Loki was asking.

"Know what?!"

"Loki…I'm doing this—_we're_ doing this—because I love you. I love you as a brother, but also as a man that has a passion for you. That loves you with an adoration almost like worship and just _can't_ live with dreams alone any longer. I thought…I thought you knew. Isn't that why you agreed?" Thor's expression faltered and for the first time in his life, Loki saw _fear_ on his brother's face. "Please…Loki…tell me that you feel the same. Please tell me…that I did not…"

"Did not what?"

The fear was increasing exponentially and those hands were gripping his upper arms now. "Loki… Loki, if you do not love me in this fashion, then what I've done to you… What I've asked you to do… It would be rape." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I thought you felt the same. Have I…misread you? Have all the years that I've held only a little hope in my heart been my own wishful thinking?"

"If you thought that I loved you back, why did you not just tell me?!" he challenged.

"Because we're brothers. You value our relationship so much, I could always see that, that I was afraid if I told you, you would say no if only because of that. I was growing desperate, Loki, and used the coronation for a chance. …I knew what you planned."

He went cold at that. "What?"

"I knew you planned to let the Jotun in. Heimdall caught sight of you just once returning from Jotunheim. He told me and I asked him to remain silent, I would take care of it. The Jotun never made it to the palace…but I took advantage of it anyway. You agreed, didn't you, because you thought the coronation would not succeed. Does this mean that…"

Loki stared at Thor, at his desperate expression, and could see self-hate beginning to rise. That he could be manipulated so by a man that he swore was an idiot most of the time… He wasn't sure what to do, what to say. Thor shifted, taking his silence as something else entirely, and shifted his hips, pulling back. Loki wasn't sure what he was doing, only that he puffed out a breath of air and his body moved on its own without his permission once again. His legs wrapped around his brother's hips and he gasped out, "No!"

Thor froze instantly. "Loki?"

Despite his unwillingness, color touched his pale cheeks again. "Don't… Don't do that." The hope that chased the fear away was almost painful on his brother's face. "Please…don't do that."

"You _must_ tell me, Loki, now. Did I misread you?"

He closed his green eyes, unable to look at the man above him as he admitted in a raw voice, "No, you didn't."

With his eyes closed, he didn't see Thor move, but he felt it as suddenly the thrust was hard and full of passion. He yelled, only for his voice to be cut off by his brother's tongue. He wondered if that was himself in the taste, but found he didn't care. The love, the passion, the excitement that Thor bore down on his body made him tremble again with pleasure. "I love you, Loki," he whispered in his ear. "I will love you all my days, past even Ragnarok."

Loki couldn't answer, though, because Thor was flooding him with too much. His hand had reached between them to stroke his erection and he was nipping, sending sizzles of pain and pleasure from his nipples and all he could do was let out a soft scream. "Thor!" The fingers of one hand gripped the braids and strands of Thor's hair while his other gripped the headboard so tight his knuckles went white. He hissed through clenched teeth as he barely held back a wave of pleasure so intense it was signaling the end.

Thor seemed intent to make him mad, not stopping and only increasing what he was doing. His teeth captured his nipple and he tugged lightly just as one finger teased his slit. That was bad enough, but when Thor's thrust slammed into him one last time, he just couldn't hold against the tide. His back arched and he screamed again, covering himself and Thor with his release, some even hitting Thor's chin.

As he panted, coming down from the second climax of the night, Thor's motions grew frantic and uncontrolled. He was nearing the end then and Loki merely let his head fall back against the pillows beneath him, eyes closing as he focused, as he just felt the sensations without pleasure clouding his mind. He could feel the desperate trembling above him and there was just a little thrill knowing that _he_ was causing this. Thor was beholden to his body to seek his release.

His fingers eased gently through his brother's hair, lifting his head from where he had pressed his forehead against his chest. Blue eyes were hazy and a slave to his lust, to his love, for his brother. Suddenly his fear of this moment, of being held by Thor because of what it denoted for his position, seemed foolish. Right then, _he_ was the most powerful, allowing Thor his pleasure and knowing that he had the power to stop it. The mighty, newly anointed king was a slave to _his_ wishes.

"Loki," Thor whispered in warning, but when he moved to pull out, he stopped him.

"No, Thor," he told him, clamping down around him. "Inside me." He tugged the man down, seeing the question 'are you sure' bold and clear in the hazy blue eyes. "I said, inside me," he ordered softly.

Thor nodded, pulled out, and thrust in one last time before he let out an earth-shattering howl of pleasure and release. Loki memorized the look the on his brother's face, the expressions that flooded him, the way he moved. The tension in his arms as it took all he had to hold himself up after he'd finished so he didn't fall on Loki.

This time when his brother made to pull out, he allowed him to and the god of thunder collapsed half on him, half on his side, burying his face in his pillow. "Loki," he slurred a little, panting heavily. His hand came up, twining in Loki's hair and pulling him close until they were tangled together.

"…Congratulations on your coronation," he murmured as he felt Thor's other hand slide over his hip to grip his rear in a slightly possessive gesture.

Thor smiled. "Thank you." It faltered a little. "You are not angry with me?"

He thought about it, remembering the anxiety in his room, the fear that had consumed him about what might happen, and wondering just where this would leave him in the future. No, the only way to assure his future…

"No," he whispered, already a plan in place. "Put your fears to rest, Thor." He hoped Thor was about to memorize his next words because he would never repeat them. "You were right."

As the rain continued, and Thor smiled winsomely at him, Loki knew that it was up to him to keep both of them safe from now on. Thor had bravely taken the first step, now it was his turn to take the rest.


	2. Chapter 2

(Notes: First part of this is before part 1, from Thor's point of view, and the second part is after)

He wasn't sure when it started, when his eyes had become drawn to Loki's figure. At first he had just thought it was his overprotective brotherly instincts. Those feelings had been part of him ever since he'd seen Loki as a child. His mother and father had only encouraged him, so he was there at every bruised knee and scrape. He'd been there to wipe away any tears that had graced his beloved brother's cheeks as a child and had shared the same bed when nightmares had plagued Loki's dreams.

Thor put the thoughts out of his mind so thoroughly that by the time he noticed that he was paying close attention to certain parts of his brother's anatomy, it was too late to change it. Such feelings of love, of possession and lust, had been growing on their own without his cultivation. They had embedded their tendrils in his soul enough that Thor found it unbearable to leave Loki's side.

For a few hundred years, he had fallen into a depression, not that he would let his friends and family know. The guilt of falling in love with his brother, and falling so hard in fact, gnawed at him like some diseased, wild creature. Thor knew that it was wrong, but it didn't stop the dreams at night. It didn't stop his eyes from wandering. It didn't stop his heart from loving. After three hundred years, he had grown past the guilt into acceptance that the one person he loved beyond all was indeed his brother. The fact didn't lose any of its significance, but it failed to bother him as much. By the time eight hundred years had passed from his first realization, despair had turned to hope.

Because no matter what Loki teased about his intelligence, Thor was not stupid. He saw in those eyes the warmth that Loki shared with no one else. His brother seemed as unwilling to leave his side as Thor was to leave his, and those fingers were often so painfully gentle when they touched that it could only mean one thing. Their lingering glances were, he felt, terribly obvious and he'd always thought it was an amazing wonder that no one else in the entirety of Asgard had picked up that he was madly smitten with the man.

Thor also knew Loki, though. He knew that if he brought up his feelings that the cautious, sometimes skittish, creature that he loved would retreat. Family meant everything to his brother, it had formed his very core, and if Thor were to confess his feelings before the right time, he would shake that core. He couldn't do that to Loki, couldn't make him take the first step.

So he would do it instead. He would take the responsibility of leading his brother into sin himself.

As his coronation drew closer, Thor still had no plan. Such subterfuge was not his expertise and it would have to be truly something to behold if he was to keep it from Loki. Most ideas that came he discarded because it would only anger his brother or was so impractical as to be laughable. It was only when Heimdall asked for his presence did an idea begin to burn as possible in his mind.

"You asked for me, Heimdall?" he said as he approached the ever-present guardian at his station.

Heimdall turned to him, face serious. "I wished to speak with you before I went to the Allfather."

He felt something in his stomach sink. What would Heimdall want to talk to Odin about? Was this…about his feelings? He wasn't ready yet to tell his parents about his feelings until there was actually something to _tell_. If things remained as they were with Loki, something that caused his stomach to clench in knots, then there would be no reason to make his feelings clear. "What have you seen?"

"Your brother, Loki, has slipped from Asgard to Jotunheim. He has just returned."

"You…let him go? But the Bifrost—"

"He did not leave by the Bifrost."

Thor frowned a bit. "Do you know what he did in Jotunheim?"

"He spoke with the Jotuns; that is all I can tell you, but with your coronation due, I fear it might be something related to that. Even for a harmless tease, to let Jotuns into Jotunheim would be tantamount to treason."

Treason. He almost shuddered at the thought of Loki being accused. So often did Loki have to save him from himself, but this time he would save the man he loved. Clearly his brother had thought no one had observed him leave. "I will take care of this, Heimdall. Speak of what you saw to no one, especially not the Allfather. There is no need to involve the Allfather in a practical joke between siblings."

Though Heimdall gave him a considering look, he agreed, and Thor quickly left. He knew that this was no practical joke, but he also knew that Loki did not want to harm Asgard itself. His brother loved his home and disliked the Jotuns as much as any other Asgardian. That left disrupting the ceremony itself so that it would not complete. While he felt a stab of annoyance, he wasn't as angry as he thought he would feel. Loki would have good reason; he would have to ask him later _what_ that reason was.

Thor found his feet taking him to a familiar room and familiar faces. Sif smiled at him as he walked in. His friends had reclined themselves on chairs and sofas around the fire. "Thor! Come join us! We were merely telling our tales of many battles."

He dropped to sit down next to Volstagg who offered him a cup of wine. He reluctantly took it, needing the spirits to bolster his own before he was about to admit to them something he had acknowledged to no one. "I have come to ask for your help, my friends, and it is necessary that it remain in strict silence. No one must learn of our conversation."

Their expressions grew grave and concerned. For a moment he considered and then discarded the idea of telling them what Loki had planned; he would take care of that on the morning of the coronation, prevent it from coming to fruition and the less people that knew the better. Not that he did not trust the Warriors Three and Sif with his very life, but there were others that he didn't and he would not chance his brother's future on his own wayward lips.

"What do you need, Thor?" Hogun asked, leaning forward and bracing his arms on his knees.

He rubbed his hands on his thighs, palms suddenly sweaty, and he mentally concentrated on Mjolnir hanging from his side to bolster himself. "I know what I am about to say might…repel you from me and if it does, I give you leave. I will not hold it against you; all I would ask is that you keep the knowledge to yourself."

"What could you possibly say that would cause us to leave you?" Volstagg said with a laugh.

"…I have fallen for Loki." His eyes met each of his friends, trying to drill into their minds the thought of what he meant. "My full meaning, my friends, is that I desire him in my bed. I desire him as my husband. He is all I think about. I realized my feelings almost a thousand years ago, but it has taken me time to…accept them." Thor took a deep breath before continuing. "I would not be here speaking of it if I hadn't seen…hope. I believe, with my very soul, that Loki loves me in return, but I also know he would dare not do anything to risk our family, our current relationship. I must be the one to make the first step."

There was silence and Thor feared that those he had come to care for so deeply would be unable to look past this. He dared not expect them to help; no, he only _hoped_ they would. He had to bite his lip to keep himself from babbling, from throwing out excuses, the 'I know but' statements that crowded his mind. He would not attempt to coerce them. He would give them the facts and let them decide. He would not _beg_ for their help.

"Do you know what you'll be asking of Loki?" Sif said softly. He was not so foolish as to not know of her lingering feelings for him, but he praised her beyond all that she put those aside for their friendship. "He is a prince of Asgard and you will be asking him to be subservient to you. For a man to hold him, it would be considered a lowering of his stature."

"I would never desire to make Loki feel less than my equal." He took a deep breath. "That is why I'm here."

It was Hogun who spoke again. "What is it you ask of us?"

Thor turned to each of his friends, but even Sif was still there. There was no look of disgust in their eyes. "I plan to ask Loki for a boon on the day of the ceremony and he has never broken a promise with me. That night…I will _finally_ be able to hold him."

"So why are you here asking us?"

He glanced at Fandral. "Because I have no experience in bedding men. I have no idea _how_ to make it pleasurable to Loki. I was hoping that any of you had ideas, or knew someone that would be discreet. That could teach me how to hold him so that I _don't _make him feel… That I can both please him and make him feel like as my equal. I have no desire to be selfish, to make him feel that he is servicing a king because he is lower than I am; I want him to feel that he is embraced by a lover."

He watched as they shared glances. Volstagg shifted next to him. "I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of advice, Thor. This is…far beyond my area." His big hand clapped Thor on the shoulder. "But so long as you are happy, and this is what Loki wants as well, then I will support you no matter what."

Thor smiled brilliantly. "Thank you, Volstagg."

Fandral stood up and paced a bit before looking him in the eye. "I know you want experience, Thor, but even the most discreet man can let it out at times. Even if he was not told the reason for the night, are you absolutely sure you would not accidentally whisper Loki's name in bed?"

He shifted uncomfortably and forced himself to reply honestly, "No." Did he have to into this unknowing? Did he have to fumble and hope he was doing it right?

Fandral was studying him before he sighed. "Then that leaves us with a very clear path: you will have to hold one of us, with the exception of Sif."

"I can't!" he protested immediately. "You are my friends and as you've said, I will likely…"

"Thor," Fandral told him seriously, "if you want to experience how to hold a man before Loki, you have no choice. We all know what this is for and I, for one, won't let this affect our friendship. Since Volstagg has made abundantly clear, he doesn't have any idea how to go about this. Hogun?"

"I'm afraid I've never experienced it myself."

"So that leaves me."

Sif raised her eyebrows. "You've been with a man, Fandral?"

"Once or twice, in Thor's position. I'll be able to tell him what he needs to do."

Thor stood up slowly. "Are you sure, Fandral? You have never been held by another man?"

"Not as you would hold Loki, no."

"Then I can't ask this of you."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. There's a difference. I'm well aware of the situation and what it entails. It's up to you, Thor: will you take the offer or will you abstain?"

Did he truly want to go into holding Loki blind? He didn't want to make a mistake. If he didn't know what he was doing, what would happen if he forgot something? By the Norns, what if his lack of knowledge meant he'd _hurt_ him? Fandral's eyes were serious, and he slowly nodded.

"Good. I'll have the preparation, but you should come to my room. We don't want Loki seeing anyone enter your room and besides," Fandral finally smiled a bit, "your room should be a safe-haven for you both, where no one else but he has laid…at least in this regard. Can't do much about the past."

Thor nodded and hoped that someone was looking out for him and his friends, because he didn't want to lose what he had. Loki had always said that to have something great, there must be something great risked, but he had never had as much confidence in his plans as his brother had in his own. He was definitely not as smart as Loki, as clever.

-0-

He knocked politely on Fandral's door and stepped in when he heard the cheerful 'enter' called to him. Thor would not admit to nerves that fluttered in his stomach and he closed the door. His friend was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and his arms were crossed. Thor couldn't help but look a bit and felt just a little relief; Fandral had the same basic type of body as Loki, though not as slim, and he hoped it wouldn't make it too hard to…react.

"The basics first, Thor. Come away from the door, at least?"

Thor hadn't realized he'd been standing motionless at the door and he locked it behind them before coming further into the room.

"Now." Fandral dropped the towel. "I take it you can guess where exactly you're going to be placing yourself." Thor's eyes unwilling dropped to his rear before going back up. "Right. Now you'll get the experience in doing this in a bit, but you have to prepare that area with your fingers and some oil or lotion. I have some beside the bed. But let's not rush that. How often do you do foreplay with those you bed, Thor?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that, Fandral," he said, shifting. It depended on whether he was drunk. He had much less control of himself if he was inebriated and tended to have less foreplay in that case. That only made him have a mental note not to get drunk at the coronation celebration.

"Well, if you really want to assure him that this isn't just about you then that's your first move. I always made sure to do that with the men that I bedded." The amazing thing about this with Fandral was that he was paying little attention to the man's nudity. It was as if he was fully dressed and they were talking of battle tactics. "Nipples are still erogenous zones for men too, some more than others, so you'll have to find out on your own if that's the case with Loki. Now I'm sure you've had a woman pleasure you with her mouth?"

"Occasionally."

"I've always, always done it with men because I know just how good it feels and there's no better way to take a man apart than that. My _suggestion_, which you're free not to follow, is let Loki have his first orgasm _then_ go for penetration. It will relax him, in case he's nervous, and it just feels damn good. Besides…"

"Besides?" he said with a raised eyebrow, telling his friend he wanted him to elaborate.

"Well, it's one of the better ways I know of to make it clear that you're equal. He can do it to you later, but you're doing it first. Frankly, I don't know what goes on in Loki's mind, but it has to cross it at some point that here you are, the near-future-king, on your knees pleasing him."

Thor nodded, though he had to profess mentally that he failed to really understand why Loki would ever feel the need to be reminded of that. Did those barely-there traces of insecurity really mean he thought they weren't equal?

Fandral raised an eyebrow. "So, ready to get to firsthand experience? I'm not leaving anything off the table. We can do what you want to do, what you feel the need to try."

He didn't want to know too much, wanted to experience new things with Loki that neither of them had done, so he merely wanted to experience the basics so he didn't hurt his brother. "Very well," he said and dropped Mjolnir on the floor, tugging at his clothes. "Let us begin."

-0-0-0-

He left Loki sleeping heavily in his bed and was assured that the man would remain that way. It was very rare that his brother was in a deep sleep, but Thor had not let him rest for hours. Not that he was keeping count, but Loki had orgasmed at least four times that night, it was no wonder he was exhausted.

Gently he kissed his sleeping head before easing out of the room in the not-quite-dawn light. He found his friends where he had not a few days ago, quietly talking amongst each other. Thor hadn't bothered to really dress, just pulled on a robe and loose pants. His appearance, his hair, probably told them all they needed to know, but Fandral braced his elbows on the table and asked anyway, "So what happened?"

Thor smiled so wide it actually hurt. "Loki…is mine now, and I am his. It was the best night of my life." His eyes were warm on Fandral. "Thank you so much, my friend. Our experience was invaluable."

The blond warrior shrugged, but smiled anyway. "It was no trouble…well, except for the day after. I almost feel sorry for Loki because I had trouble walking and we only did it once. I doubt you stopped at once with him. Where is he, anyway? Isn't he usually up at about this time?"

He blushed a bit at that. "He's asleep, exhausted. I did not have the heart to wake him."

Volstagg shifted, picking up a grape and tossing it in his mouth. "Thor, from my experience, it might be best not to tell Loki about Fandral. There is no telling just how badly his jealousy would be if he knew, even knowing that you merely held him out of a need for experience so you didn't hurt him."

Thor nodded seriously. Nothing had changed between himself and Fandral. Their friendship was as easy now as it had been before, as if what had occurred had just been a sparring session, but letting Loki know would be tantamount to a betrayal. That it was someone he knew, someone that he had known for a long time, no matter the reason, would upset him fiercely. He knew his brother, knew that he carried hurt and slights for a very long time deep inside, and he would always wonder whether there was something more between Thor and Fandral.

"Thank you, my friends. Your advice has been invaluable."

"What are you going to tell the Allfather?" Sif asked. "You can't hide this forever."

"I…don't know, nor am I entirely certain I'm ready to tell him. I must speak with Loki, what he thinks." He smiled again. "I must return to him before he wakes."

"You pamper him too much," Fandral teased and Thor merely grinned goodnaturedly.

"It is my _privilege_ to pamper him."

As his friends waved him off, he returned quickly. Loki was still sleeping, hadn't moved, and he slipped out of his clothes before getting back in bed. He wrapped his arms around Loki from behind, pulling him to his chest. There was a soft sound, a sound so gentle and sweet that it melted his heart yet again, and he made himself a promise: no matter what, they would never, ever be apart.


	3. Chapter 3

(for Jenniebennie, who wanted another fic with Loki preggers~)

Loki had never realized just how often Thor watched him. Now he could feel the eyes that glanced at him constantly, almost hyper aware of it really. Their touches were no longer causal anymore; any time they so much as brushed each other, it felt like Thor was undressing him all over again. Mentally he cursed, angered that he had become so smitten with his brother. He didn't want to be, always the type to prize his independence, but something like a chain had been wrapped around his waist and he didn't know how to release it.

It was a chain made up of stolen moments, deep kisses and tender affection, passionate love-making in the dark. Their eyes never failed to make contact and they were being so terribly obvious that Loki knew if it weren't for the fact that the Warrior's Three and Sif were helping to allay suspicion, the entirety of Asgard would know.

Not that he was pleased about that aspect at all. He hated that Thor's friends were a part of this. When Thor had first admitted that they knew, that he had spoken of his feelings and they had supported him in his quest to conquer Loki's heart, he'd been almost incensed. He tolerated their presence most days, his resentment of them over the years of their 'teasing' belittlement not having abated, so finding out that they had known all along about this while he hadn't had not been a pleasant surprise.

What _had_ been pleasant was the first time Fandral had make a smart comment about his skills, Thor had turned on his heel and defended him. It was the first time that he had ever seen his brother like that, his protectiveness reaching new heights. Loki hardly minded; in fact, he'd relished the stunned looks on the four faces.

"What is this, Loki?" Thor whispered huskily that night as he drew his lover to his own room. In the month of their relationship, every night he'd spent in his brother's room; tonight it would be his, a place that Thor had rarely been to.

"I think you deserve a little something," he murmured back, pushing Thor onto the bed and straddling him.

"For…?"

Thor didn't realize what he'd done, that he'd made Loki happy, and he wasn't really looking to enlighten him. "Do I need a reason?" he purred and proceeded to make Thor orgasm three times that night.

Things were…almost ideal for Loki. He was _happy_, really happy, for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Whatever resentment he'd held for the throne had faded away imperceptibly, little by little each day, and he was content to ignore the wonder in the back of his mind that asked him what his new role would be now that Thor had been officially acknowledged and was set to ascend to his role as King within a few months.

"I have not seen you smile so much in years, Loki," his mother commented as he sat with her in the garden, just enjoying watching her weave her magic. "Has something good happened to you?"

That secret smile widened a little and he shrugged helplessly. As if he could explain to her that the reason he was happy was because he was in love, and didn't that sound horrendously foolish. He had always rolled his eyes at such sappy tales, declaring to himself that he would never be like that. Frigga had always just _looked_ at him when he'd say that and calmly state 'we will see'.

"Nothing particularly," he lied.

"Is it Thor? You both have seemed to have grown closer now than you have been for a long time."

Damn her perceptiveness! His heart had almost stopped at those three words, that question almost making him pale. He wiped the smile from his face, but nothing would erase the memory that it had been there once. "Thor has nothing to do with it."

"Then it is some other person that has caused you to act as if you have just discovered love?"

Her teasing smile made him roll his eyes, but he couldn't make a sarcastic comment back; she was his mother and one of his greatest weaknesses. "No. I am not in love, mother."

They had left the garden an hour later, but Loki did not feel as if he had convinced her.

Life had, all around, become almost everything he could have desired and yet not known he'd wanted, until third month of his relationship with Thor. The illness had started slowly, just a bit of nausea here or there that he was determined to ignore. He didn't _feel_ feverish, unless one counted just how hot Thor made him at night. He attributed it to their passion that he was feeling more sensitive than usual.

_His lover nipped at his chest, wrapping his tongue and lips around his nipple, and Loki let out a low, tortured scream. Like bits of lightning running along his nerve endings, the sensations were overwhelming and the words he found coming out of his mouth embarrassing. "Thor, Thor! Please, now!" he begged, actually begged._

"_You seem more responsive than before, Loki," Thor whispered, but by the look in his eyes and voice, he was absolutely delighted about it. Without waiting another moment, he'd lifted the slimmer man's legs and thrust in._

Thor was such a heavy sleeper and Loki wore him out so ardently that his lover never noticed when he'd hurried out of the bed and into his adjoining bath, empty his stomach of whatever he had eaten the night before. Shaking after the eighth morning he'd had to go through his, he braced his hands against the edge of the sink and leaned over a bit, just breathing. Why? What he had dismissed as a stomach bug seemed to be lasting longer than he had originally thought and a niggle of worry settled in the back of his mind: what if it was a serious illness? He didn't want to go the healers unless it was absolutely necessary, but…

Shaking his head, he wiped his mouth, gurgled a bit, and slipped back into Thor's bedroom, hoping that his lover would still be asleep as he usually was. He frowned at seeing just how light out it was and instead of crawling back to bed, he grabbed a fresh pair of trousers from a spot hidden in Thor's closet. He had begun to keep quite a few clothes in here so he didn't have to dash back to his own room.

"How many times has that been happening?"

Loki turned, seeing Thor bracing himself up on his elbow in the bed. "What?"

"Rushing from the bed to vomit."

Oh. So he hadn't been as subtle this morning as the last ones, but then this time had rather crept up on him. He'd been asleep so deeply that he hadn't been aware of the warning signs. If he hadn't moved then, he would have made a mess of Thor's bed and he would never live it down. Deciding to be honest, he shrugged, "It is the eighth day. It's merely a stomach illness, it will pass."

"After eight days though?"

"Stop your worrying, Thor. I'm fine."

"Loki, I want you to speak to the healers. If you haven't by midday, I'll ask mother to look at you."

He glared. What were they, children? "Fine," he lied, knowing he wouldn't do it.

It seemed to appease Thor, though, because the man slid out from the bed and eased up behind him, letting his hands run over his front. His voice dropped to that seductive purr that never failed to work, murmuring, "I love you, Loki." Fingers were loosening the pants he'd just tightened and let it drop to his knees.

Loki had to brace himself against the dresser in front of him as his legs went a bit weak. "Thor, it's morning and you've had me four times the night before."

"It is a new day, brother," Thor laughed in his ear and gently slid his fingers inside him. "You're still a bit loose."

"I wonder why that is," he muttered, but blushed a bit.

Thor made short work of preparing him and he eased their hips together, letting out a heavy, pleased sigh as if he was home and belonged inside Loki. He bit his lip, moaning at the sensations as his brother loved him oh so gently. It made him forget he had places to be and things to do, wanting to spend nothing more than bent over an object for the man he loved, the one that would do anything he asked.

Despite the gentleness, Loki felt quite sore afterwards and he settled in the garden under the shade of a tree that afternoon. The breeze was lovely, the day overcast enough that the sun didn't bother him too much. He had brought a book with him, but it was so pleasant that he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep. He couldn't, but it wouldn't hurt just to take in the day…

Loki jerked awake at a gentle hand in his hair. When had he fallen asleep? It couldn't have been more than an hour… His mother's eyes were looking at him worriedly as she knelt next to him and he glared over her shoulder at Thor, who didn't seem the least repentant. Instead, he crossed his arms as if to say 'I told you I would'.

"Thor said you're feeling unwell, Loki."

"It's nothing, truly. Thor's overreacted."

"I have not," his brother groused, dropping down on his other side. "I have never known you to be ill enough to vomit for eight days in a row every morning."

Loki hissed, but it was too late. Frigga didn't even ask the question why Thor would know that he had thrown up every morning, how he would even know in general; instead she just glanced between them, seeing something that Loki tried to hide, and gasped. "Oh, Loki! What have you done?"

Feeling ashamed, Loki sat up. Of course it was his fault—

"No, mother. It's my fault," Thor abruptly said, wrapping an arm around Loki's waist and almost dragging him into his lap. "I…seduced him first. Everything he has done has been because I asked." There was a single moment before Thor plowed on with the most blatant lie of all. "Loki has never been willing, never reciprocated."

"Don't you lie to me, Thor," Frigga said, her tone stern despite her calm demeanor. "I did not raise either of you to lie to me." Her eyes softened in concern and worry. "Please, the truth."

"The truth is that we are physically and emotionally intimate," Loki stated as matter-of-factly as he could and not let his fear overwhelm him about how he had disappointed her.

"For how long?" she asked, a sense of urgency coming to her voice.

Why would that matter? "Since the night of Thor's coronation, why?"

"And did you use any protection? Loki…did your brother embrace _you_ or did you embrace him?"

His eyebrows drew down in confusion. Why should _any_ of this matter? "Why are you asking?"

"Loki, answer." When he didn't, still trying to work out her concern and getting a pit of fear in his stomach, she turned to Thor. "Thor, answer me."

"I have embraced Loki every time," his obedient brother answered.

"Protection?"

"None."

She ran her hands through her hair and if anything, her expression grew more worried still. Loki narrowed his eyes. "Why, mother? Why should protection matter when we are both men? I am clean, and so is Thor." He hadn't even had to _ask_ whether his brother was or not; he was very aware of what had gone on around him.

"Please, stay here. I must get your father." She stood up and he felt something cold and fearful settle in his stomach.

"No, please don't tell him!"

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and Thor and Frigga stared at his panicked cry. "Loki?"

At his mother's questioning glance, he cursed himself but couldn't bear to lie to her. "Please don't tell him. He'll be angry with us and I don't… Please understand. I…can't help it. I…love Thor, mother. I could not bear for him to separate us."

"Loki, dear Loki…I think that's no longer possible."

She turned and quickly hurried away and Thor muttered, still keeping his arm wrapped around him, "What did she mean by that?"

"I don't know…but it isn't going to be normal, whatever she meant."

"A spell of some kind?"

"I don't know. I have felt no enchantments being cast either on me or you."

Before he could speculate further, Frigga had returned, trailed closely by Odin. She dropped to her knees, but Loki kept his eyes fixed on the older man, waiting for any signs of disgust or anger. "What is it?" he demanded harshly, seeing the same knowledge of whatever it was in his mother's eyes in his. "What do you know that we don't?"

Her hands touched his and Thor moved closer to his back, this time actually pulling Loki into his lap almost in some sort of protection, even from the two that had raised them. "Loki," she whispered, running her thumbs over his knuckles, "your illness is not illness. You're with child. _Thor's_ child."

He laughed. He couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. "What madness is this, mother? I was always the trickster, not you." Seeing her face made his smile vanish and that fear in his gut expanded. "No. It can't be."

"Loki is a man, mother, of that I can guarantee. He cannot bear children…unless he was cursed by a spell?"

She shook her head at Thor's suggestion. "I didn't think we would need to have this conversation." She looked up at Odin, who finally kneeled down next to his sons and wife. "Loki, I did not bear you myself."

His heart stopped. "…What?"

"You are my son, you always will be, but I did not carry you as I did Thor. Your father brought you home; you'd been abandoned by those that did birth you."

So…he wasn't Thor's brother? Frigga and Odin weren't his father and mother? This place wasn't his home? "What…am…I?" he whispered, feeling the warm blanket of shock shudder over his mind. "What am I, that I can bear a child of another man?!"

"You are Jotun," Odin said, reaching for his hand. He watched in horror his pale peach skin began to recede and he saw a deep blue in color. Loki yanked his hands back, the blue receding quickly, but now both Thor's arms were around him. They were keeping him still, there, kept him from running in his panic, but also possessive and protective.

"What have you done?!"

"Nothing," Odin told the outraged voice of his brother. "During the last war with the Jotun, we pushed them back to Jotunheim. I forced Laufey to concede the battlefield and found that he had abandoned a babe near a temple because he was small, seemingly weak. I brought you home, breathed a spell on you to appear as an Asgardian."

"So you took pity on a Jotun that should have died because he was nothing more than a weakling?!"

"No, never pity, Loki. You were a beautiful baby and you melted my heart. I would not let you die and so I brought you home, where I have loved you just as I have loved Thor. It is merely a shame you had to find out this way."

"Find out this way?! Were you ever planning on telling me if this hadn't happened?! Wouldn't do to have Thor _sullied_ by a _Jotun!_"

"Loki!" Frigga snapped and he winced at her admonishing, strict tone.

"What shall it be now then? Shall I be forced to leave? Give up the child? Or am I to be lose it before it's born? Then Thor and I shall be separated?"

"Loki…" He looked over at his mother, who appeared…angry with him. "I don't know why you think such poisonous thoughts. Even if we _wanted_ to, there would be no separating you or Thor. When Jotun choose their mates, it is for life. The deeper the bond goes, the harder it is to separate them. You two have always been close since you were children. Emotionally you had already chosen Thor very long ago; when Thor came to you on his coronation, embracing you, he accepted and the bond was formed. This is not _new_, Loki. You could never bear to be apart as children after only five years; how could we do that now once the bond has been completed?"

When she tried to touch his hair, Loki shrunk back into his mate's arms who let out a soft growl of warning. So that was why Thor had become even more overprotective of late; their bond had only exponentially increased. Bonds were not to be taken lightly as they often intensified baser feelings, instincts, and desires; they were also highly permanent…and Loki and Thor had gone into it without even knowing.

"You will never, ever be banished or sent away," Frigga told him, not seeming upset that he drew away from her, but it was hard to tell for sure. "Nor would we ever, ever, _ever_ force you to lose your baby. If you wish to give the child up for adoption, or even choose not to go through with the pregnancy, that will be you and Thor's choice."

"My whole life is a lie," he whispered.

"Were the emotions we felt a lie too then?" Odin asked, his voice having a hint of reproach to it. "How you came to be in this household was not what you thought, but that does not mean the life you created here is false. It does not mean that the love we hold for you is untrue or fabricated. A life is not dictated by one's _birth_, Loki."

He felt a rebellious feeling well in his throat and he turned away from his parents. He couldn't bear to look at them right then, knowing that not only had they kept this from him, but that it was a secret they never would have revealed if it hadn't been for the change in circumstances with Thor. He would have gone to his grave not knowing anything. Thunder rumbled ominously and a few drops of rain began to fall from a sky that had once been almost cloudless.

Odin nudged his wife, pulling her to her feet. "Do not stay out too long."

At least the man had the decency to leave. When he was alone with his brother, the rain starting out as a light shower, he muttered, "Release me, Thor. You hold an enemy of Asgard."

"You are Jotun, but that does not mean you are an enemy of Asgard…or of me." Thor shifted and Loki found himself on his back on the ground, staring up at Thor's face. He knew why his brother did it; he wouldn't have looked at him any other way.

"I have forced you into a bond long ago apparently."

"You forced nothing, Loki. It was started long ago, but I chose to accept it."

"Unknowingly."

"You didn't know either, so how can you take the blame on yourself?"

He felt his eyes close, feeling his world crashing down around him. "Thor, did you even listen to them?! I'm Jotun and now I've done something that no Jotun has ever done: carry the seed of an Asgardian. Do you have any idea what this will do? What of your friends, how will they react, knowing how _wrong_ I am?"

"You are not wrong to me and I shall not allow any to say a word against you! I am king of Asgard now—"

"Not entirely. Father still advises—"

"_Loki_!" Thor looked at him softly, in such love it broke his heart. "If you feel the urge to weep, do so."

"I will not cry!"

"I'm merely saying that it's all right if you want."

Loki refused, didn't want to, but tears slid from his eyes regardless. He was horrified at his behavior; he hadn't cried since he was a child. He covered his face, but Thor only pulled his hands away and kissed his eyelids gently. "We will get through this together, Loki. I promise. This does not mean everything has to change."

"Yes, it does, Thor, and you know it."

Thor at least relented on that. "It does not have to be a _bad_ change then."

"What can possibly be good about this?!" he demanded as the rain fell down harder, but so gradually he failed to notice.

His brother's smile was brilliant. "It allows me to ask for your hand officially. I would wed you, Loki Odinson." Lips kissed his knuckles, but there was a playful look in those blue eyes.

Couldn't he see how serious this was?! "Wed me?! Are you ready for that, much less being a father?!"

"If you are with me, I will always be ready for anything…and I very much enjoyed the acts we did to create that life."

It was so stupid, so absurd, so pathetic to talk about in the face of such serious issues that it caused Loki to laugh incredulously. To actually laugh despite it all… Thor was beaming at him and gathered him up in his arms in a tight hug. Loki pressed his forehead to Thor's shoulder, fingers digging into his back, as he merely reveled in the warmth of his brother's body and the rain from above.

Word spread fast after that, as if the secret had been waiting just to be said once. He felt the eyes of Asgard on him, the hissing whispers that followed him about his heritage and how he'd bared himself so intimately for his brother. Shame clung to his heels as he realized that what estimation he'd had in many people's eyes had disappeared and he had heard more than once sly comment about spreading his legs.

Loki bore it all in silence, though. He would not let his brother know. He would not tell him of his nightmares. The only blessing he had was that once it was revealed, Thor had, without even asking, moved Loki entirely to his room. It had been remodeled over the past few months to be worthy of a king's room, and for Loki, it was his only sanctuary. He slipped into bed every night and if he lost himself in Thor's arms with more vigor than before, it was because he needed to have some reminder of why he was suffering so.

He stepped into the great hall for Thor's first full day of court. Odin and Frigga were nearby, sitting lower than the new king in comfortable chairs. Loki assumed it for moral support, or for Odin to keep an eye on what Thor might be doing because while he may have been crowned, his brother knew very little in the way to rule a kingdom. Mjolnir had its own seat on a small table next to the throne, a place of honor, and Loki, despite his resentment that still bubbled after three weeks of hearing the truth, wanted to slink over to them anyway in silence, hiding behind their presence as he used to when he was a child.

That wasn't to be, because Thor's eyes met his and he gestured. It caused all heads to swivel toward him and he inwardly blanched. In the silence that followed, his footsteps were horrendously loud, but he made his way up to the throne. His mother had often been there with his father on court days, sitting nearby in a chair, but there was none placed there now. When he moved to kneel before his king and swear fealty, not sure what else he should do, Thor grabbed his hand.

Lips caressed his knuckles and he gently tugged him forward, a little at a time, before he found himself sitting, almost perched, on the edge of the half circle wings around the actual seat itself. Thor was smiling up at him in that delighted, yet confident way, and Loki really hated him for it. How did he not know just how difficult this was for him? All eyes were on him, the Jotun that dared, _dared_ spread his legs for their prince and conceive a child. The pathetic prince of Asgard that was good for nothing at all, if not worse.

He could feel Sif and the Warriors Three taking their places as guards on the lower stairs to the throne. "Thor," he whispered in strain, managing to keep his voice low enough only his mate would hear."

His lover stood, but a touch on his knee kept Loki from standing as well. He leaned in, lightly caressing his cheek against Loki's. There was a puff of air at his ear and he tried not to shiver when Thor spoke. "Worry not, Loki. I will always protect you."

Protect him? Concern began to grow in Loki. Their bond was already deep and the mates that Jotun's chose were not truly intellectual, but on a base instinctive level. Knowing that he was with child, _Thor's_ child, would only make the already almost-explosive protective feelings worse. Any perceived slight or discomfort in his mate would only cause his lover to lash out. It wasn't Thor's fault; it was the nature of the bond. "Thor…" he muttered warningly, "of what do you think I need protection?"

The new king straightened and smiled at the crowded room of his subjects and then with a move too fast to see, he'd grabbed Mjolnir and thrown it forward, the metal slamming violently into the floor at the base of the steps. The smile was gone and instead was replaced with something altogether different. The frown was severe, his eyes angered.

"I am, and will always be, the same man that you cheered and praised for years. I am still the warrior that foolishly challenged the great lord Calder to a drinking contest and failed." There was a smattering of chuckles at that. "Do I appear any different from the man that thought he was so charismatic that he tried to seduce a sorceress in his youth and was summarily cursed for a week with a female voice? I am still the man that welcomes any to come speak to me of troubles or merely to have a drink for fun."

The congenial voice disappeared and Loki stared as he listened. He had never once heard Thor sound so angry, so…enraged, as he did then. "But make no mistake: there is more to the man you applauded. If I hear one more word about Loki, I shall let _Mjolnir _speak for me instead! Loki is my mate and will be awarded the same respect you have always shown me. He may be Jotun, but that does not mean he is an enemy or unworthy of your respect! He is still Loki _Odinson_, Prince of Asgard, and soon to be my husband!"

Thor turned to Loki and reached out, kissing the back of his hand again. He didn't bother to lower his voice as now the smile was back and the severe tone had disappeared, as he asked, "Assuming you would consent to wed me."

"…How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"Know?"

"About what they were saying."

"I knew you were upset, but I didn't know why." His gaze flickered to his friends that watched from the steps. "No one would say anything while I was around; I was not there to hear it. They did."

He almost glared, feeling resentful. "I—"

"It was something I needed to know, Loki," Thor told him seriously. "You have always held your emotions in, refused to speak of them, and it has caused you, and I, great grief in the past. I refuse to let that happen again. I will _never_ let you feel shame or anguish, and if I must rely on my friends to tell me of what you will not, then I'll do it."

He really was entirely unrepentant about it. There was not a hint of regret in his eyes, or awkwardness about what he had done. He didn't seem to care that he might anger Loki for doing so, and perhaps it was that that kept his resentment at bay. Thor would do it again in a heartbeat, because it was for _Loki's_ benefit. It was something that, honestly, he could understand and appreciate, because he would do the same for Thor.

"Please, Loki."

"What?"

"I did ask you for your hand. Have you not left me in uncertain agony long enough?" Oh. That. Loki forgotten the question, indeed had assumed it was merely playing for the crowd. "Let me be the father I wish to be for our child, and the husband I crave for you."

Knowing that this was a conversation that everyone was listening to, he glanced at Odin and Frigga. There was no condemnation on their faces; in fact, he couldn't read them at all. Would they be disappointed in him? His eyes returned to Thor, who he could see was growing a bit worried; his confidence that Loki would say yes seemed to be ebbing away much like their first night when he was worried that Loki didn't share his feelings.

He chewed his lip, not really wanting to torment Thor, but trying to imagine what the future would bring if he said yes. It could cause a peace with Jotunheim…or it could cause a war, not just because of the marriage but because he was with child. If he remained merely a consort, while he would never gain the status and respect of husband to the king, there were more allowances for any behavior he might choose to do. It would also, though, make his child's claim on the throne less tenuous.

Thor dropped to one knee, startling Loki out of his thoughts and he felt those lips nudging the finger that his lover seemed aching to put a ring on. "Please, Loki." His voice was raw now, pleading. There was a faint rush of power in his veins, the same he'd felt as that first night after his orgasm, when he realized that despite being embraced, Thor had been beholden to him. He could only find pleasure where he wanted it if Loki allowed it.

His eyes widened as Thor showed him the ring, the one that Frigga had always cherished because it had belonged to her family line for so long no one remembered when it first came into being. It was the best way he could see her blessing, by giving it to Thor.

"Yes," he said at last. They would weather the storms and uncertainties of their future. There had never been a known marriage of two males in Asgardian history, or of a marriage between a Jotun and Asgardian. It could be the biggest mistake of his life.

But seeing Thor's brilliant smile and delight, he couldn't bring himself to regret a thing.


End file.
